You Can Be Happy With Your Life Exactly The Way It Is
Stop waiting for things to get better and starting living fully in the present.
There isn’t a single one of us that doesn’t want to be happy. Individually and culturally we’re obsessed with happiness — and will stop at nothing in the relentless pursuit of finding it.
Happiness is made out to be a destination, and the life that we’re currently leading is nothing more than a lengthy journey to try and find it.
We’re fed messages daily that our life as it is right now isn’t good enough.
If you don’t have the latest tech gadget, a new car in the driveway and a six figure income you might as well give up and go back to bed.
The comparison trap, where we look at what others have and see how our lives stack up, can easily suck the joy and meaning out of our lives if we let it. There will always be someone who has more, does more and is just ‘better’ than us.
It doesn’t have to be this way. You don’t have to live your life constantly waiting for things to get better or for your situation to improve and look like a perfectly styled Instagram feed.
In fact, if you continually wait for things to get better in order to feel like you can be happy, you’re going to lead a pretty miserable existence. The happiness that you’re after can only be fully experienced in the present with all of it’s messy imperfection.
Stop Focusing On The Future
We spend a lot of time focused on what the future is going to be like. Our dreams, aspirations and goals are always centered around improvement and making life better down the road.
But what we’re failing to grasp is that the future isn’t guaranteed. Anything could happen at any moment that cuts your future short or completely changes its trajectory.
All we have is the present moment that is directly in front of us — right here, right now.
“Everybody’s looking for the future. They’re never in the present. So when they arrive at the future, it’s not there for them because they’re not present for it. If you get the idea that this is the moment that you have, it is the only moment that you have, then you live in the present, and you move with the flow, because this is the point of arrival. Right now.” — Deepak Chopra
This is the point of arrival. You’re in it right now and it’s up to you to decide what you’re going to do with it.
Forget about the future for a minute, an hour, even a day and see how it changes your perspective. When you are able to fully grasp what it means to be mindful, present and embodied, happiness ends up being a lot closer than you think.
Give Up The Hustle
Our cultural obsession with being busy and living life on overdrive is making us sick, depressed, anxious and lonely.
It’s also a great distraction from learning to manage unpleasant emotions, feelings and situations that are directly in front of us.
The breakneck speed that so many of us maintain also keeps us from being able to truly enjoy the small moments and experiences that a good life is made of.
It could be as simple as taking the time to wander through the floral department at the grocery store and admiring the fresh hydrangea that was just put on display.
Maybe it’s getting off the bus a few stops early and walking the rest of the way to work because the sun is shining after three days of rain.
If you’re caught up in the hustle and your mind is focused solely on your never ending to-do list, the opportunities to experience life as it is will never be something you can take advantage of.
“I have no argument with greatness. But if arriving at my destination becomes an excuse for dismissing my life right now because I haven’t found that great purpose yet, that’s a waste of a day, if not a life.” — Barbara Brown Taylor
Don’t stop pursuing your dreams and achieving your goals, but don’t make these the entire focus of your life. You’ll end up missing the beauty that’s right in front of you — beauty that can ultimately lead to your happiness.
Learn To Enjoy The Ride
All throughout my 20s and early 30s I lived my life thinking, “When ______ happens, then I can be happy”. It didn’t matter where I was or what I was doing there was always something missing or that I wanted to be different in order for me to be happy.
This approach to life made me miserable and helped to fuel years of depression and anxiety.
Approaching life with this mentality left me feeling like I constantly needed to prove myself and that I was never enough. This relentless pursuit meant that I couldn’t enjoy the present because I was too distracted by the idea of creating a perfect future.
Experience has since taught me otherwise.
Living life in the present and actually showing up for the ride have meant a dramatic shift in thinking, and have resulted in my experiencing life as happy, meaningful and purpose led.
“Find your lane. Make space for the flow to show itself. Follow the natural rhythm of your life, and you will discover a force far greater than your own.” — Oprah
Finding your natural rhythm and state of flow can move you to a place where the everyday becomes magical. You start to appreciate the mundane, the boring, and the usual in a new way.
You realize that life is happening right now and that you’re missing out by not making the most of the moment, and that this moment is really all that you have despite your best laid plans and intentions.
While happiness may seem elusive, it’s entirely possible to be content with your life the way it is right now. If you ignore the journey you’re on with a focus solely on the future, you miss what’s happening immediately in the present. When you do arrive at the point in your life where you think you should be happy, you’re not able to appreciate or enjoy it because you’re not present. By moving away from the hustle and learning to enjoy the ride, you can be fully present and happy with what you have — instead of focused on what you think is missing.
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